D'var Mussar by Harav Michoel Frank
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Description: Review 08

Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh
Review of Volume I
If we want to measure whether we are successfully internalizing this simple truth of Emunah, that Hashem controls and decides all that happens, there is a good measuring stick to use. We can evaluate our 'middah' of anger and frustration. If we don't see any difference in the level of frustration, or how angry we get when things don't go our way, and we are just as annoyed as before we started working on our Emunah - we haven't yet been successful in truly internalizing this concept. But when we see that we have much more control over our frustration and anger, and the knowledge of who really is in control helps us stay calm and collected even in the most frustrating situations - then we know we are getting somewhere!
Let's start to examine how internalizing the Emunah of hashgachah can help us overcome anger. The remedy is quite simple: Put Hashem into the picture. Once we train ourselves to view every situation with Hashem in the picture - it has a totally different effect on our emotions!
What brings a person to anger? Simply, when things don't go their way. There are many different levels of this, there's that low-level frustration when you can't find something, and the higher level of frustration when you can't find your keys and you are in a rush, and the even higher level, when you know someone took them and didn't put them where they belong! Sometimes the anger is just inside your heart, and other times it comes to full expression, both in your facial expressions and your words - you're blowing steam! Of the most powerful triggers of anger is when someone disrespects us, hurts us, or insults us. Every person feels entitled to some measure of respect, and when that is denied them, it makes us very angry.
Let's divide this into two categories. One, when the situation doesn't go our way, without any other person being at fault. Two, where someone else is frustrating our desires. In both these situations, the underlying factor is the same - our intentions are being frustrated - things just aren't going our way. If we would include a measure of Emunah into the picture - we would look at this and feel very differently.
This concept, that when we are frustrated with our situation, we are meant to recognize who is truly responsible for our situation, is clearly demonstrated in the Torah. It’s not discussing cars, rather a donkey, and the person making this demonstration is none other than Bila’am. 
Bila’am was riding his donkey, and it went off the path, then it squashed his foot against the wall, finally it sat down and refused to move. Bila’am got extraordinarily angry – at his donkey! He was sure that the donkey had made this decision to stop going. When the donkey opens its mouth and starts arguing its case, he argues back, and then threatens to chop off its head! He’s so angry, it’s almost as if he doesn’t even take note of the fact that this is quite unusual – a donkey talking? Maybe something is up here? No. Bila’am is ready to wage war on his donkey. 
His donkey then calls him to task, on this simple observation. “Have I ever done this to you before?” Bila’am is forced to admit, no, the donkey has been a faithful servant. “So, what do you think is going on here!?” Then Bila’am’s eyes are opened, he sees the angel blocking the way, and all of a sudden, he’s not angry at the donkey anymore! It’s got nothing to do with the donkey – Hashem was directly involved, stopping him from going any further! Who should he be angry at? The angel, and Hashem perhaps. But Bila’am knows it’s futile to be angry at Hashem.
We also know it’s futile to be angry at Hashem. If we would focus and see that whatever our difficulty, whatever the situation we are in, is due to Hashem’s manipulation and control, we wouldn’t get angry at Hashem – that’s silly. We would then start to think, why is Hashem doing this? What does He want from me at this point? It would become a whole different experience, a vastly different chain of thought.

The next step in this thought process would be this: Why is Hashem doing this, is it because He loves me, or chas v’shalom, He dislikes me? If we ask ourselves this question – we know the answer – of course He loves me! The love Hashem has for us is so great and powerful, it is beyond what we are capable of understanding, something truly divine. Now if He loves me, and He is doing this, clearly this must be something good for me. We may not understand how it’s good, and it doesn’t appear to be good. But after working through the steps of Emunah, and acknowledging the hashgachah, we now know who has done this, and have established why He does things. The next logical step, is that it must be good! It must stem from the deep love Hashem has for me, and is entirely wonderful – every single aspect and ramification of this situation.


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