D'var Mussar by Harav Michoel Frank
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Description: Chapter 1 - 12
Pirkei Avos
Chapter 1 – 12
The Mishnah we learned last week, Mishnah vav, says:
יהושע בן פרחיה ונתאי הארבלי קבלו מהם. יהושע בן פרחיה אומר עשה לך רב וקנה לך חבר והוי דן את כל אדם לכף זכות.
Yehoshuah ben Perachiah and Nitay Ha’Arbaili received the tradition from them. Yehoshua ben Perachiah said, make yourself a rebbi, buy yourself a friend, and judge every person favorably.
Last week we discussed the concept of finding a rebbi and buying a friend. What is the concept of judging every person favorably?
The Chofetz Chayim goes to great lengths to prove that this is an authentic mitzvas asay, no less than eating matzah, making Kiddush on Shabbos, and similar to other mitzvos we have that give us direction how to live with one another, such as tzedakah, bikur cholim, hachnassas kallah, ona’as devarim, lashon horah and so on. He quotes the Rambam in his count of mitzvos includes this, and the Sma’g and the Sma’k, two later rishonim who count mitzvos include this, and Rabbeinu Yonah in Shaarei Teshuva also clearly states that this is a mitzvah. It’s therefore important to note, that when faced with a situation of doubt, when we witness something which is questionable, and we choose to judge the person favorably and give them the benefit of the doubt, we are mekayaim a mitzvas asay, and conversely, when we don’t, we are mevatail a mitzvah. 
It’s also important to note that this mitzvah applies to our friends and neighbors, but it also applies to our husbands, wives, and children! They are Jews and are entitled to be judged favorably just like anyone else – and it’s a mitzvas asay! In fact, the best way to be mechanech our children in this mitzvah – is to employ it towards them.
Just as all mitzvos have guidelines, this is no different, and there are times we are obligated to really stretch our imagination to the limits in order to justify someone’s actions, and there are times we are not obligated to do so. There are situations where the mitzvah requires us to judge favorably, and in other situations it’s not a mitzvah – just good middos.
However, it’s important to realize the following point about judging other people in general. Judaism distinguishes between the actions of a person, versus who the person is himself, independent of the actions we see him doing. Even though the best way to know a person is through how he chooses to act, nevertheless it is possible that his actions are largely shaped by outside influences or internal struggles that we are not aware of. That being the case, his external actions are not an accurate reflection of who he really is “inside” (heard from R’ Yitzchak Berkovits). 

Therefore, the Torah gives us license and guidelines how to judge his actions. This is the mitzvah to “judge your fellow with righteousness,” to make a thoughtful assessment of a person’s actions, rather than jump to conclusions. At the same time the Torah warns us not to judge the person himself as Chazal said in Pirkei Avos:אל תדין את חבירך עד שתגיע למקומו         Meaning: Do not judge your fellow until you have reached his place. Since we can never “stand in another person’s shoes” and since we are not that person, with his life circumstances, it is impossible that we will face the exact same challenge, and therefore we cannot judge him as a person. We can only judge his actions.


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