D'var Mussar by Harav Michoel Frank
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Description: Ahavas Hashem 04
Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh
Volume I Pages 123-124
We have already said many times, that in order to acquire any level of Avodas Hashem, whether it was that Kirvas Elokim is the best thing possible, or the reality of Hashem’s existence, or that He controls everything, it’s necessary to repeat this to ourselves again and again, both in thought, and in actual speech, in order to really bring this truth deep into our hearts. Our hearts don’t get affected by just thinking about something once, even though we know and accept it to be true. Our hearts need to be pummeled into change.
Gaining Ahavas Hashem, a deep and true love for Hashem is no different. All the things we spoke about need to be reviewed to ourselves again and again, both in thought and in speech. We need to find some time and think, and speak the thoughts out. We’d take anything we have, something we are proud of, and very happy we possess. A wife, husband, children, home, job – anything! Begin from the beginning and start to examine how we came by this wonderful thing. Who put the right thoughts in our heads and the right words in our mouths? Truth is, the more we start examining these things the simpler it becomes to us, that we really had very little to do with the outcome! If we are zocheh to be married, and go back through the events that led us to find our spouse, and to like each other, and agree to marry, we’d all readily admit – it wasn’t us – and it doesn’t take a lot of Emunah to arrive at this conclusion. Nevertheless, without thought – nothing will happen.
We start to think the right thoughts, and then we need to express them. When we express them we would do this in question and answer form. Who put this thought in my head? It was Hashem! Or we can choose to address Hashem directly, if we feel authentic – it was You Hashem! This will build the love in our hearts little by little, and it will become a powerful guiding light for us.
Rav Avigdor Miller zatzal would advise, to go under the elevated train (which runs through Brooklyn,) and wait until it comes. When it runs through it makes a tremendous racket, you can’t hear yourself talk, almost can’t hear yourself think. Just then you should scream out, “I love you Hashem!!!” He said, this will have an effect on your heart more than anything else. Not all of us are up to doing things like that. We can’t do it before we feel authentic. But the concept is beautiful and true – and we can exercise similar things on our own in private. Speech is powerful and has the ability to make an impression on our hearts.
The more we think and talk about this, we will also build personal humility. We will see how little we really have to do with what as been achieved in our lives. The outcomes were determined and executed by Hashem. Even the hishtadlus that we did, was fueled and inspired by Hashem. This brings us to the level that Moshe Rabbeinu exclaimed – ‘v’nachnu mah,’ What are we? The more we work on this, the greater this realization becomes. The more we accept how little we are – the more place we have in our hearts for Hashem. It’s only our own ego and self-importance that crowds Hashem out of our hearts, and the more we empty out that haughtiness – the more it fills with Hashems presence, and the love for Him.

We realize nothing we have is really ours, everything is merely a ‘pikadon’, something given to us to watch and take care of. The concept of ‘sheli,’ something is mine, becomes more and more foreign. This is of the highest levels a person can achieve, and brings on the greatest Kirvas Elokim.


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